Spring has sprung

The weather has been so great for the past couple of days, we get Ben outside when we can. He is a little unsure how he feels about the outside, because it is so bright..he’ll learn to love it. šŸ™‚
The list of questions for the cardiologist is growing, and we are getting very excited to see him on friday. After weeks of being off work, the days seem to fly by. I’m sure that this week will be crazy slow, just because we have something to look forward to. I put my head on Ben’s chest today to hear his heart, and instead of the familiar lub-dub, his seems to have a triplet beat (you musicians will understand that…). It’s so different! I sometimes wish I could have Xray vision to see what his heart looks like and watch it work.
Scott made some phone calls today to the Walled Lake School District to begin the process of getting Ben some resources to help him develop. Early intervention, starting with an assessment at home, can start now. Formal work with Ben by a physical therapist, will start at about six months. There will be some things we can do in the meantime with him. Just this week Scott and I were eating dinner and Ben was in his Pack and Play…we watched him reaching for his favorite toy (I think you’ve met Senor Elephanso in the previous pictures). I am not sure if he was reaching, if he realized that his hand made the little bell ring when he moved it, or that he is starting to put everything together, but he is definately more aware of his limbs and what they do. Watching him change is the most fascinating thing!
Being present, being with Ben without my mind racing a million miles ahead is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. The original plan when I went back to work in September was to have him enrolled in a day care or in-home care, but obviously with his heart that may not be a possibility. The few weeks I have to go back in May will be no problem, my mom is helping us out. We are starting a search for in-home care for the fall, maybe by a pediatric nurse or nanny? All of you who want to help, please pass along any resources you might have. It is extremely stressful to think about leaving him. I know, I know…moms everywhere are saying “it’s always hard”…but you should be me. šŸ™‚ I have to remember when I’m holding Ben and playing with him that he is all that matters. I have to be present and not worry. It’s like asking the sun not to shine, asking me not to worry….but I know that the best thing I can do right now is to let that go and be Ben’s mommy. I don’t want to think “he won’t be here in september, so don’t worry about it”…I want to think that I have to make plans, and I want to make good ones.
Enough deep thoughts. The sun is still out, we have all eaten dinner, and it’s time for a walk around the neighborhood to see what’s in bloom. We didn’t get those spring peas in the garden today, we spent too much time with Ben (is that actually possible?). Maybe tomorrow.
Incidentally, tomorrow is Ben’s seven week birthday! Happy Birthday Ben!!! Next tuesday he is two months old!!!
No new pictures today…tomorrow or wednesday, I promise!!!


5 Responses to “Spring has sprung”

  1. knothie01 Says:

    I love Ben updates. They make me smile. I wish I had some resources for you… alas, I have none.

    You and Scott are the most amazing parents ever.

  2. dc_chick06 Says:

    I’m excited to find out what the Cardiologist says too! And excited for you to come back! Hope all goes well for the rest of the week!


  3. purlewe Says:

    It is late and I don’t have much to say that is of any importance..I’ll think about the thoughts you put up here and let you know tomorrow.

    until then I am glad you keep giving us your little ray of sunshine out here in Philly. Sue and I are sending our love and happiness to you guys.

    hugs from all to all

  4. zoobily_zoo Says:

    I know that you are looking for someone with a medical background, but if you are in a pinch (or ever get into one), I am always available to help. But I’m sure there are many others that you know much better who would also gladly help, like your mom.

    It’s hard to even want to find care when all you want to do is stay with them.

    He is doing so well for only being two months old! They get to be an absolute riot around three months, and the sleeping through the night thing gets a lot better too.

    Ben and Tristan should get together sometime and play. šŸ™‚

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