Archive for December, 2006

Quick post

December 30, 2006

Hi everyone…
There is a folder with holiday pictures of Ben in it on our flickr page… It was easier than posting them all here. Mosey on over for pictures of the christmas Ben. 🙂

Hope everyone had a good christmas….Scott and I are headed to a wedding tonight, Ben will be staying with Aunt Karen…hope he is good for her!


having a rough day

December 28, 2006

Can’t seem to shake these winter blues. To top that off, Ben was up every thirty minutes from one AM on last night. After I had already gotten out of bed twice, and he started fussing again, Scott shook me to tell me he was up. He has said frequently that I don’t hear Ben when he gets up. Okay, A) Thanks for making me feel like the worst mom ever B) I have already been out of bed twice, there is nothing to do for him. But then, feeling guilty because Scott has to work today and Ben was making it impossible to sleep, I continued to get out of bed.
We have been through this before, and Scott seems to think that we sould feed ben when he wakes up at night. Ben has been going without a middle of the night bottle since he was two months old. I am NOT reintroducing that habit now! AND….I finally changed the diaper at four thirty (this wakes Ben up and is a last resort) and found out that Scott had not put a clean diaper on him before he went to bed (we put a size larger diaper on at night to insure absorbancy….since Ben’s meds make him pee a lot). So this probably contributed to the waking issue too. I am so upset at Scott I cannot see straight.

So Ben gets up, eats (yes, he was really hungry), has half his bottle, spits up, has the rest, sleeps on me for an hour, then as I”m getting ready to eat breakfast, he spits up again. So I give him a bath instead, and clean up baby puke from the entire surface of the high chair and the floor.

The thing that really gets me is that Scott is all about trying to get pregnant again in january or febuary. I am SOOOOO not ready to be pregnant again! I have a baby that can’t do ANYTHING for himself. He’s not sitting independantly, not rolling, and I will probably have to carry him everywhere for an undetermined amount of time. he has outgrown his baby carseat (we are going shopping on monday for a convertible carseat, which will not be removable from the car like an infant seat is) meaning that I have a kid who is not sitting, and can not sit in the carseat in the grocery store buggy. So I can go out with a stroller, but can’t get anything done because if I want to run a buggy, then I can’t have Ben with me. Top all this off with the fact that my back hurts constantly…I am in constant pain from bending, carrying, and lifting my sweet pea and now he wants me to be pregnant too? Let’s not even start on the fact that I’m terrified of being pregnant and either loosing the baby or having another child with a disablity…because that’s too much to go into here.

I went on medication for a low thyroid diagnosed after I had Ben, and that has helped my energy level. My mood however is not improved. And I have not lost any weight…okay, some….but not enough. I went shopping this weekend with some christmas money, and found pretty much nothing that I wanted, nothing that fit, nothing that didn’t show all my bumps. We have a wedding to go to this weekend and I don’t have a dress yet (since none of mine fit) and I can’t find one. AND…all the dresses I look at are sleeveless, yeah, that’s what I want to show off in the middle of winter.

I have had five days of not being solo mom, and apparently it didn’t make a difference because the break did me no good. gotta get this mood improved.

Merry Christmas!

December 25, 2006

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IMG_0534.JPG, originally uploaded by randallfam.

Merry Christmas from all us Randalls. Hope your day is happy, peaceful, and exactly what you want.

December 18, 2006

As I posted last week, things in our house are finally back to normal with Ben. He is once again eating like a machine…anything we put in front of him…he even had some homemade pea soup this weekend, and really enjoyed it. I am trying to introduce some more things to his diet that have texture to them…I mashed a carrot for him in his soup, and though he usually is pretty picky about chunks, he ate the whole thing. Sorry to those of you who found kinship in his disdain for cooked carrots, he now seems to love them. Go figure! We will also work a little harder now that he is feeling better on putting food in his mouth. Ben loves to chew on toys, but hasn’t quite gotten the hang of food in the mouth. He’ll come around. 🙂 In order to give him a wider taste of fruit, I did buy him some jars of fruits that are more exotic to try…some mango, papya, and “Hawaiian delight”, Which I assume must consist mostly of pineapple. So far all have been a success. Reading baby food labels in the grocery store is a shock…the second ingredient on most is sugar. I know, I know, it can’t hurt him all that much and he’ll have plenty of sugar eventually, but it is kind of an eye opener to look at that.

Our rounds of holiday parties have finished for the year…we have been so busy lately, and Ben has been a trooper. Yesterday we went to a party for Scott’s side of the family, and he didn’t nap all afternoon. In spite of this, he was happy and smiling all day. Ben is now completely off of his Morphine, and what a difference! I think I may have mentioned before (I certainly say it enough) that this is not a suprise to me, but it’s still amazing to see what a different kid he is…so interactive, happy and outgoing. It’s nice to have him well and ready to play all the time. And I do mean ALL the time. He’s such a hoot.

Christmas shopping is done. We had a hard time trying to find some toys that would be good for his motor skill development, toys that aren’t all about the batteries and lights. We found him some wooden blocks that will be easier for him to pick up with his tiny hands, also some small wooden trucks that he can push and pull. Two other toys round out his list: a small xylophone that he can hit with the attached sticks, and a pop up toy. I can’t wait till Christmas. 🙂 We will be having Christmas morning here, then heading to my parents for the day.

for more updates, see the pictures

*sigh of relief*

December 13, 2006

All is right with the universe again, hopefully….Ben is feeling much much better, and is pretty much back to his old self. AND last night for dinner he ate some cereal and pears with no tears, no head turning, no airplane spoon, no cajoling. After he was done, he just opened his mouth like a baby bird and looked at me, so I also offered him some yogurt. Now we’re back in business. Seems like the planets are back in orbit.

Some christmas pictures coming soon…of Ben’s christmas outfit and his first present experience. 🙂

This week is Scott’s last full week of work until the new year. I always look forward to the holidays when we have more time at home together. Ben is excited too, he just doesn’t know it yet. 🙂

Gotta get to work on those holiday cards….

When it rains it pours

December 6, 2006

As far as Journal entries, anyway…three posts in two days. geez.

I have to get some thoughts out about some things that are on my mind. I have been reading a new blog lately…it is a woman who I found on Flickr. She has a daughter with DS, and four other children. Her kids range in age from 16 to 3.

Because it’s what I do, I have been reading back through the archives on her blog, and I”ve learned a little about her. She has a college education. She has had a really bad marriage that has been on again off again twice, and now she has no idea where her husband is. he occasionaly sends Child support payments, apparently. She has tried to get work, but has been turned down because what she can work (due to child care issues) keeps telling her that she is overqualified for what they have. her income is the SSI she gets for her daughter.

At one time, this woman had a life like me. She was married, she worked, she wasn’t rich but she had a comfortable life. Things have changed drastically. Couple this with the stress and additional cost of a child who is differently abled, and life is probably not what she imagined for herself. On top of this, her fifteen year old daughter is now pregnant.

I cannot get this family out of my mind. I cannot stop thinking of this woman and her kids. I want to do something, and I am paralyzed by not knowing what to do. I don’t want to try and do something and wind up offending her…and really, I don’t know her at all….We have corresponded by Email a few times and exchanged some pictures, but that is about it. I just can’t stop thinking about this woman and her situation. Maybe if I keep thinking, something will dawn on me that I can do to help.

you can read her blog at

In a totally unrelated matter…

I am thinking of moving this blog to blogspot. I know a few people that have blogs over there, so I checked it out and WOW is it easy to use. I”m wondering if I”ll lose readers by moving, and I’m also wondering if I move and post a link to it on this page, is Live Journal going to be nazi-ish and take my blog down here.

Why am I worried about all of this? I need to just move and be done with it. 🙂

How fun is this!

December 5, 2006

Step One
– Make a post to your LJ with a list of ten holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and interest-related (“I’d love a Julie Andrews icon that’s just for me”) to medium (“I wish for new Playmobil pirates”) to really big (“All I want for Christmas is a new car.”) The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
– Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post so that the holiday joy will spread.

Step Two
– Surf around your LJ to see who has posted a list. And now here’s the important part:
– If you see a wish you can grant, and it’s in your heart to do so, make someone’s wish come true. Sometimes someone’s trash is another’s treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don’t want or a gift certificate you won’t use–or even know where you could get someone’s dream purebred Basset Hound for free–do it.
– You needn’t spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn’t to put people out, it’s to provide everyone a chance to be someone else’s holiday elf–to spread the joy.
– There are no guarantees with this project, and no strings attached. Just…wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you’ll have the joy of knowing you made someone’s holiday special

here’s mine

But baby it’s cold outside

December 5, 2006

Just when I think things are calming down, they pick back up again. But such is life. Ben has been okay lately, he’s now completely stopped eating solid food…he just turns his head and cries. The past three days or so we have stopped pushing the issue, and have just been feeding him bottles. I have heard some people say that this behavior is common among kids this age…the online baby site I read has hundreds of posts from moms saying their kids are doing the same thing. Many responses have said that this means that the child is ready for self feeding, but Ben shows no interest in this. I think in a day or so I”ll start offering him one meal again, and go from there. He has had some diarrhea lately also, so maybe his little tummy is upset. Since Ben is still eating his bottles, at least he’s still getting what he needs.
It’s hard not to be frustrated when things like this happen. I realize that this is probably more of a baby thing than a Down Syndrome thing, but it still frustrates me. It’s hard to remind myself to be patient, that Ben will tell me what he needs when he needs it. I have a definite grandmother streak in me in that I love to see Ben eat. I love knowing that I”m making his food and that he enjoys it so much. I’m really trying not to be “super-mom-ish” about the fact that I’m making his baby food, but it is a great source of pride for me. I have to remember that him not eating has nothing to do with me, but some other issue that only Ben knows. Babies are such a mystery!!!
Ben has been doing pretty well at therapy. He sees the Physical Therapist one week, the Occupational therapist the next. It is very good for him that they are willing to do “one on one” time with him now, because he needs that. He has a lot of strength in his shoulders and his upper body…he pushes himself up and can roll himself above the waist..but his lower half is still kind of weak. His legs are very “frogged”…they splay out and flop around. he loves to lift his feet up and look at them, but can’t get his knees under himself and shift his weight. The PT suggested that we get his hips checked out to make sure he hasn’t stretched the tendons around his joints (causing his hip sockets to be out sometimes) before we start stretching and working his hips in earnest. We will do this at his next ped. appointment.
Speaking of Ped. appointments, I love our pediatrician. It’s really a very good group and very supportive of everything we’ve been through with Ben. He will be getting his next round of shots at the health department, however, because it is cheaper and we have reached his cap on well-baby visits. We planned on doing taking him this week, but since Ben has had some tummy problems, I’m waiting until he feels better. I’m a little crazy about taking him to the Health Dept., just because I’m worried about him picking something up there…but I’m sure the risk is about the same as taking him to the doctor’s office.
The Christmas party for the Down Syndrome Parent group is this weekend. We’re excited to go and show Ben off. He loves to watch the big kids dance around. 🙂 It makes me reflect on this time last year…I was pregnant and Scott and I went to the party to meet some people. It was our first contact with this great group of people. So much has happened in one year, it’s amazing to think about. When I think of the past year, my head spins and I get a little confused about how so much can be fit into what is really a short amount of time.

…This started out as a short post!

December 3, 2006

Ben is feeling a little under the weather. Poor guy. I’m not even going to bring up the “T” word, because I”ll jinx the whole thing. Anyway…he’s totally off his solid food (just not eating it…he bars his mouth and turns his head) so I”m trying not to take that too badly….he used to eat so well and eat so much, and now nothing. At least he’s still taking a bottle. And he woke up sick twice last night. Hopefully he’ll be up and around and feeling better soon.

Speaking of teeth, check out this picture, it’s hilarious