Overheard today on my phone
My sister: I have a dillema. Do you want bad news or good news?
me: bad news
sister: I can’t go to the buddy walk
me: okaaaay….
sister: V and C bought me a ticket to go to NYC that weekend.
me: so change the date
sister: well, it will cost more money…what should I do?
me: I can’t make that decision
sister: but what do I do?
me: well, I’ll be dissapointed if you miss it, but it’s not like I”ll disown you
sister: but what do I do?

Gist of conversation: sister wants me to tell her it is okay to miss the buddy walk to go to NYC and get drunk and party with friends. I WILL be dissapointed if she doesn’t come to the walk, but I can’t tell her not to go to NYC because I AM NOT LIVING HER LIFE. Grrrrrrrrr.


2 Responses to “”

  1. purlewe Says:

    I know you will talk to your sis and give her what she needs.. but I see the conversation going in an upbeat friendly way that still conveys that you don’t mind and she has to make her own decisions. She has to make these kinds of decisions for work..s he can make them for family too.

    I guess I am on the flip side of the coin with this. My sis with family + kids and most of my family seeing me as “untethered” even if I have my own family.. just sans kids. And my sis and I ahve worked it out. I think sometimes my sis must feel like this about me.. just as much as she feels tied down by her kids (I AM NOT implying you are “tied down.. OK???) on some days. I think my whole family feels that I am the irresponsible one b’c I live far away etc etc… and I deal with this alot. I guess it is just time for your sis to decide what is important for herself and her own family of 1. (plus boyfriend)

    I’m home all weekend. feel free to call. I’d love to talk. (plus I need on tuesday to put money in the buddy walk..)


    • coffeemomma Says:

      nah, I think it is good that she is untethered. It is the time in her life for that. And that is what I tried to tell her. I’m not going to lie to her and tell her I won’t be disappointed, because I will be. But she needs to make her own decisions…and that is what this is all about. She needs to make the decision and stand by it, not say “what should I do” so I make it for her. She wants me to say “oh, it’s okay, go” so that she doesn’t feel guilty, and I won’t do it. That’s not mean, it’s honest.

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