Archive for May, 2008

It happens

May 18, 2008

We’ve been experiencing some…well, strain around here the past week. For those of you with more delicate sensibilities, I should warn you that this is a poop entry. Read at your own risk.
Starting last week (early last week), Toby started really straining and grunting and was generally unhappy. It usually happened when he ate (they tell me that babies have a reflex that makes them poop when the eat…I don’t know if this is still true at 5 months…). He didn’t have a … movement… for several days. The doctor reccomended prune juice in the bottle, so we tried it. Success. Then it was another two days. We tried it again. More straining. I took him to the doctor. He says to do the prune juice in every bottle for 24 hours, then maybe once or twice a day, whatever he needs. So we try this.

It’s 4:30 am, wednesday morning. I hear Toby cry, so I get out of bed and head into the room. Usually I just “rebob” him; that is, put the pacifier back in. I really thought, however, that I should check his diaper. I turn on the light in the hall so as to get a good view, and what greets me is a sea of black poo…no, no, it’s not poo. It’s not doo doo, or dookie, or poopie. It is, just bear with me here, it’s just shit. And it’s everywhere. The parental dreaded “up the back”…on the sheets, everywhere. I get toby stripped (he’s shreiking), clean him up, new diaper, and have nowhere to set him…I’m waiving him around the room, in the fashion of the Lion King being presented to the animals, and I set him on the carpet. This was NOT acceptable, and he starts to cry. Working quickly now, I strip the bed, remake it, find a clean sleeper, get him redressed and rebobbed and rebedded. Then I go back to my own bed and collapse. I am all ready to mutter “no more prunes” in the fashion of Citizen Kane’s “rosebud”…when I realize that Scott has slept through the whole thing. I debate the wisdom of kicking him, just for good measure, and decide against it.

Seriously, people, prune juice does nasty things to an infant. We’ve had many blowouts this week, and still we’re sticking with the juice. Marines, Green Berets, their training has nothing on this. In fact, I think it would be excellent military training to get all the recruits up out of bed at 3:00 am or so, send them into a nursery to change a screaming, wiggling infant. You get two wipes. Go.

So my concern here is that Toby, while returning to…um…a regular schedule…is still occasionaly crying and arching his back and straining while eating. I’m starting to think that this has nothing to do with the poop issue. I think that maybe his tummy hurts, and I”m tempted to stop the prune juice just to see if that is causing some cramping. It’s very upsetting to see him unhappy.

We had another pediatrician visit last week….20 lbs, 27 1/2 inches long, we were given the green light to start solids, but I’m hesitant with the recent food issues. We’ll see how things go this week.

Feeding my addictions….

May 6, 2008

…just a comment on tonight’s American Idol….

If David Archuleta sings one more high-school, drama-geek-boy, be-my best-friend song next week, I’m going to have to stick something sharp through my eyeball and directly into my brain. Because I can’t take it anymore. YES, he is talented, but the velveeta cheese that pours out of my TV every single week when he sings is getting to be TOO MUCH. And Jason Castro? Sorry, man, you’re my pick to go home this week. That Bob Marley number was a traffic accident.
My picks for the top two? David Cook and Syesha. I think David will win. *crosses fingers*

May 6, 2008

Spring is finally here, people. As I type I can hear the ice cream truck out in the neighborhood. It’s at least the one that’s not annoying (that one plays turkey in the straw endlessly) or scary (that one plays some weird eastern-european sounding song that sounds like something out of a Stephen King novel). Toby and I have been getting out on lots of walks. I really appreciate the sunshine and fresh air after the long grey winter. I have needed this.

Last week, as I said I would, Toby and I went to school to visit Ben’s teachers. It went well, I wasn’t overcome by memories or anything, and it was really good to see them. They even let us stay for circle time, which opens class. That was lots of fun with a parachute (that Toby chewed on) and balloons, which Toby was fascinated with. After the opener, we chatted a little then went home. I’m really glad I went to see everyone, I think if I hadn’t done it this year it would never have happened. It was a good day.

Since spring is here and I have waited for it for so long, I find that missing Ben has turned into more of an emptiness. Like I waited to be able to take him outside and walk and play and it isn’t going to happen. It makes me feel kind of hollow. Still going through good days and bad days here, I guess. I saw an old friend I hadn’t seen in several years last night at band, and was showing him pictures of Toby and Ben. I find that in situations like that I have to say right away what has happened with Ben, because it is easier that way. But only with people I know. If I am just meeting someone, I still find it easier to say I have two children and leave it at that. I don’t want to get into the details. Sometimes it’s because it isn’t any of their business, but mostly it’s because it is just to hard to share. And sometimes, also, it’s because I just don’t have the energy to get into all of it, knowing that the conversation will end up with me reassuring them that I’m fine and things are fine and the two years we had with Ben were a gift. Yes, all of that is true, but in that scenario I’m saying it to make someone else feel better and less awkward…I just get tired of doing that job sometimes.

This weekend is the big birding extravaganza in Canada…the yearly event. I’m so looking forward to it, and so is Scott. We love to get out and hike around for two days, and can’t wait to take Toby into the woods. The only thing that worries me is that lately, although Toby is a great sleeper at home, he will NOT sleep anywhere that is not home. Last friday at my mom’s, naptime was a disaster. Saturday night we went to some friend’s for dinner and a movie, and Toby would NOT sleep. Period. So I’m thankful for the home sleeping, but I”m worried he won’t sleep in the hotel. Hopefully the fresh air will help a little! You know you’ll read all about it here.

There are some pictures here