*This* close

The crawling, oh the crawling. We’re working on it. On friday night, Toby *DID* two “crawling steps”…that is, he moved his arms and his legs to propel himself in a forward direction. Most of the time, though, he will move his legs forward, then use his legs to belly flop forward, then repeat. It’s funny to watch, and we’ve been taking video. I’m going to learn how to upload video clips so that I can put that up here, when I have some spare time. Scott and I had much discussion about whether the two steps on friday counted in the pool, and I think it did. Toby did, after all, crawl. That means that Sue has won Ice cream. mmmm. Lucky duck. šŸ™‚

Spare time is a precious commodity lately, and it’s going to get even more scarce when he starts crawling, because instead of just wanting my attention, Toby will NEED and demand that I keep an eye on him so he doesn’t get into things. It seems strange that we’ve had children for two and a half years and this is the first time I have had to worry about this.

So I have to write about an interesting phenomenon that happens EVERYWHERE Toby and I go. Now, I know my kid is cute, but I’m more than a little biased. Toby, however, seems to know he’s cute too. This is probably because people tell him so where ever we go…the store, the mall. Out for walks. The other day I was in Jo Ann fabrics and I heard him coo in the basket. I turned around to find him holding court with FOUR Jo Ann employees who were making fools out of themselves over him. Toby, of course, eats this up. It has gotten so bad that now when we go somewhere, Toby will spy a person, lock eyes on them, smile and tip his head just so. Sometimes he’ll coo or babble. And inevitably, they say “Oh, you are SO cute”…and then it begins. The giggling, the eye batting. The person always makes a fool out of themselves. Toby eats it up. If someone doesn’t pay attention to him, he will either babble at them or find someone else to start on. But it gets better! Scott and I were out for a walk the other day with Toby in the stroller, and a woman PULLED OVER AND STOPPED HER CAR to tell us how adorable our baby was. Okay, that kind of freaked me out. But still. Someday when he’s a teenager and being especially annoying I will say something like “When you were a baby people used to ADORE you and look at how you’ve grown up”… or some other mom-like phrase like that.

Last monday we went to the pediatrician for the nine-month check up. Toby is 21lbs, 13 oz and 30 1/2 inches long. He’s gotten pretty tall of late, and started to lose just a little of the baby chub I’m so fond of. Since he was born, Toby has had a bit of a lazy eye, on and off we notice it, usually when he’s “zoning out” or looking at something far away. We thought it had gone away (apparently this is common in infants and most grow out of it), but we noticed it again the other day. I asked the doctor about it and he said it’s probably nothing, but it’s worth getting it checked out to make sure. We have an appointment with a pediatric opthamologist on Sept. 24. It’s a two hour appointment, so they must be thorough! Scott is taking a half day to go with us, which I’m thankful for!

Don’t forget to sign up for the Buddy Walk, which is in two short weeks. We’ll be sure to have a good day, and there will be picnicking afterwards. If you want to sign up and didn’t get a brochure in the mail (which will give you admission and free parking), Email me or leave a comment and I’ll get you one. We got a call the other day that the parent group is reprinting the bookmarks they put out a year or so ago…one of them had Ben’s picture on it, and they wanted to know if it was okay to reprint that one. Naturally we said yes. The fact that little things like this happen….the bookmarks, the fact that his picture is in the Buddy walk brochure, it all makes me so glad. It makes me think that others are remembering him too, and that I’m not the only one who thinks of him all the time. It means a lot that people want to remember and honor Ben. Things are getting better, but I still have moments when I miss Ben so much it is physically painful. Not as many, thankfully, but still some. I think that the hardest thing about losing a child is that you feel so alone…it’s a loss that many people can’t identify with, even though they want to help sometimes it’s hard to know how. And for the parent, it’s hard to know when it’s okay to talk about the loss and when it’s not. I mean this not only in a social context, but in an emotional one too. Sometimes it’s just not a day I want to talk about Ben. Sometimes I don’t want to do anything else. It’s good to know that people still care…makes me think that people will still listen.

Till next time, take a look at some



I was on the phone the other day and turned around to see Toby standing at the dinosauer…he’s on his way here. It was a little frightening. šŸ™‚


One Response to “*This* close”

  1. larkina1 Says:


    Toby looks so much like Beth. He sure is cute.
    If you are interested the Shrine mom to mom sale is the 27th of this month.
    take care-Amanda

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